A Toast to Fewer Canker Sores

A friend of mine called with a rather excited message the other day. Finally, her braces are removed. I’ve never really seen cards for such occasions. But it definitely was a moment that deserved attention.

“Have fun licking your teeth tonight,” I told her.

She said, “Oh, I have been. How did you know?” Really I have no guide. I never wore braces. Yet, I would expect that one would eventually miss running the tongue along the teeth. Do you think I could have found a card with the same sentiments? Or perhaps “a toast to fewer canker sores” inside a card?

Years ago I had a dream of becoming a greeting card writer. Of course, I never pursued it. I just think a niche market exists out there of strange card reasonings.

Picture it: “Congratulations,” the outside of the card notes. Inside: “For taking six years to complete a two-year degree. That’s a valuable education for sure!”

The other day I went to the greeting card aisle of a local store looking for a thank-you note to provide to my god parents from my cat. My family took a few different trips this summer that required us to be away from home for multiple days. They agreed to feed Darrell, our cat. I never found a card from him to them, so I improvised. I just wrote a message from the cat to them. I signed with a paw print. I thought about trying to get him to actually sign with a print, but decided he really wouldn’t be in the mood for such an experience. Probably one can find cards from animals. I would expect those do exist in some stores.

The options for greetings have improved. During my husband’s birthday celebration this year, the inundation of cards included one that had a redneck sitting on his porch saying, “Bigger is better. Think about it.” Inside: “Trucks, dogs, etc. Happy Birthday, big guy!” He even had a card from the perspective of a roll of toilet paper. Sitting on the countertop by the toilet, it has a speech block saying, “And you thought your job was bad ...” I adore such creativity. A friend sent me a note the other day saying, “We’ll be friends until we can’t remember how old we are.” Inside: “In fact, that may be now. What are we? 26? Around 26. Maybe 25.” Well, not hardly on that whole age aspect.

As I listened to a cd today, I heard a wonderful song entitled, “The Time In Between.” The thought crossed my mind that we should create a greeting card for church goers. “For the time in between ... Sunday services...” Inside: “May you behave the same as you do while being nice at church.”

A whole series of “For the time in between” could be created.

“For the time in between ... entering WalMart and leaving it...” Inside: “May you remember to abide by your shopping list and not be swayed by falling prices.”

“For the time in between ... lunch and dinner...” Inside: “May you remember that your body knows such thing as ‘sneaking’ food. It tells all.”

“For the time in between ... the first piano lesson and the first symphony...” Inside: “Remember that ear plugs aren’t a bad sign from family members.”

“For the time in between ... school is out and school starts...” Inside: “Remember it is the favorite time of year for children.”

“For the time in between ... starting a job and finding another...” Inside: “At least you are getting a paycheck.”

Oh, I could go on and on. Some, however, should probably not leave my mind. So for the time in between this and the launch of my card series ... imagine for yourself.