Nothing can ever prepare one for motherhood. A book just would never be able to provide enough information to help one handle every situation that will arise.
I never expected I would have to tell my older son not to beat his brother in the head with a banana.
I never thought the words, “Don’t shine the pig’s butt in your brother’s eyes,” would ever be necessary. But, this morning on the way to school, I actually had to make that statement.
Sometimes I begin to wonder what is wrong in our little world. Today, I found sanity though as I listened to the radio. On K-Love the morning radio hosts asked listeners to call in with statements they never thought they would say.
The good news is that many other people, parents of course, make statements they wouldn’t expect.
“Don’t put that tortilla shell in your ear!”
We all have a list of items that we warn our children about when it comes to mouth, nose, and ears. They like to experiment. That’s how beans get stuck in ears, Legos end up in the digestive system, and blue PlayDoh must be pulled out of a nostril.
“No, no, please don’t lick the lizard!”
“Don’t eat deodorant.”
My children never had a strong attachment to deodorant, but I told them on multiple occasions to quit eating diaper rash ointment.
“Don’t blow your nose on people.”
“Don’t eat toe jam.”
“Underwear isn’t meant to be worn on your head.” I’ve found that the more I tell them that one, the funnier they think it is. They’ll both put underwear on their heads and run around the house as if they have now become mighty super heros.
“Don’t try to pee on each other.”
“Don’t lick the floor.”
Even worse ... “Don’t lick your shoes.”
For some reason, they’ll lick just about anything — sometimes even after they are told.
“Don’t blow Dorito breath in Mamaw’s face anymore.”
Obviously, many statements are expected and said nearly on a daily basis.
“Don’t lie down while you eat.”
“Chew with your mouths closed.”
“FEET OFF THE TABLE!”
“Hang your coats up.”
“Sneeze and cough in your elbow.”
“Don’t sniff; blow your nose.”
“Say ‘excuse me’ when you burp at the table or near someone else.”
It’s all part of this job with which we as parents are tasked. I never expected it to be as encompassing as it is. Children have a lot to learn. We, as parents, must do our best to teach them.
It also makes me glad for a song played frequently on K-Love noting, “There’s no such things as perfect people. There’s no such thing as a perfect life.” Good, cause we are far from perfect here.
Many statements must be made more than once. However, my sons figure out a few things the first time they do them.
Creed learned never again to try to swallow a plastic hanger after the one and only time he attempted it.
And, luckily, I only had to tell him once not to poop in a furnace vent. I did tell him more than once that it was time to stop pooping in his diaper and even that it was not proper to empty his diaper on the floor. (Thank God for disinfecting wipes!) The vent, well it just happened once.
Through it all, I will tell them every chance I get that I love them, even if they listen to that one the first time.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
1977
I created a list of events from the year that I was born and the year that Todd was born to post with newspapers from those dates. It was easy since we were both born in the same year.
I found some facts quite interesting.
For example, on Apr. 21st the Broadway play “Annie” opened. It was the first of 2,377 performances on the big stage. It seems ironic to me since for so much of my elementary-aged years I could have been an Annie look-a-like.
Actually, I still remember my mother saying to me, “If you could sing better, we might make some money off of you.” Maybe so, but the first time I sang solo in front of a crowd — which I believe was at a church service in Pennsboro — I cried and didn’t finish my crooning.
Still, my mother made me “the Annie dress.” Some of you may remember it as being red and white. I even have that dress on in a family picture taken nearly a few decades ago.
It appears Annie was the best option for my birth year. After all, the Coneheads debuted on “Saturday Night Live” in January of that year. I guess I’d rather look like Annie.
The year saw a switch in politics from U.S. President Gerald Ford to Jimmy Carter. On Jan. 19th of that year, Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D’Aquino, better known to U.S. troops as Tokyo Rose, from her acts of treason during World War II.
It was a year of space discovery as well when Soyuz 24 launched two cosmonauts into space in February. A little over a week later, the first space shuttle, Enterprise, makes its maiden flight (carried atop a Boeing 747), over the Mojave Desert. But it wasn’t always about the world beyond our atmosphere. The USSR also performed nuclear tests in the same month.
Other activities included Alain Prieur jumping his motorcycle 65 meter over 16 buses, near Paris. Meanwhile, a Nova Scotia fisherman caught a 20.2 kg lobster — the world’s heaviest known crustacean. Dr. Allen Bussey made his name while completing 20,302 yo-yo loops; Sabra Starr finished the longest recorded belly dance (100 hours).
In the world of entertainment, Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours” album released. The Rolling Stones made the news in a different manner as Keith Richards was arrested in Toronto and charged with possession of heroin with intent to traffic and possession of cocaine.
Future “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno debuted with host Johnny Carson. “Eight is Enough” premieres on ABC-TV.
In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court allowed lawyers to advertise. Aren’t we all grateful for that? Also, in March Bank of America adopted a new name for their credit cards: VISA. Again, aren’t we grateful?
Vietnam finally handed over MIA to the United States. But it wasn’t about peace. The U.S. restricted citizens from visiting Cuba, Vietnam, North Korea and Cambodia.
The NBC News and Information Service (which operated 24 hours) ended on radio. The first personal computer, the Apple II, went on sale. Radio Shack announced the TRS-80 computer; within weeks, thousands were ordered. Television viewer discretion warnings began.
Regarding famous folks: James Earl Ray escaped from prison, and three members of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s rock band died in a plane crash. To the dismay of many, Elvis Presley died at the age of 42.
I also discovered that the Plymouth Horizon was introduced in December. It was the first American-made small car with front-wheel drive. Technical advances in drive technology had reduced the size and cost of front-wheel drive systems. Some 16 years later, it would be my first car to drive.
1977: when a new house averaged $49,300; average annual income was $15,000, and a gallon of gas cost 65¢.
Wow! Now if only I knew how well Annie aged ...
I found some facts quite interesting.
For example, on Apr. 21st the Broadway play “Annie” opened. It was the first of 2,377 performances on the big stage. It seems ironic to me since for so much of my elementary-aged years I could have been an Annie look-a-like.
Actually, I still remember my mother saying to me, “If you could sing better, we might make some money off of you.” Maybe so, but the first time I sang solo in front of a crowd — which I believe was at a church service in Pennsboro — I cried and didn’t finish my crooning.
Still, my mother made me “the Annie dress.” Some of you may remember it as being red and white. I even have that dress on in a family picture taken nearly a few decades ago.
It appears Annie was the best option for my birth year. After all, the Coneheads debuted on “Saturday Night Live” in January of that year. I guess I’d rather look like Annie.
The year saw a switch in politics from U.S. President Gerald Ford to Jimmy Carter. On Jan. 19th of that year, Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D’Aquino, better known to U.S. troops as Tokyo Rose, from her acts of treason during World War II.
It was a year of space discovery as well when Soyuz 24 launched two cosmonauts into space in February. A little over a week later, the first space shuttle, Enterprise, makes its maiden flight (carried atop a Boeing 747), over the Mojave Desert. But it wasn’t always about the world beyond our atmosphere. The USSR also performed nuclear tests in the same month.
Other activities included Alain Prieur jumping his motorcycle 65 meter over 16 buses, near Paris. Meanwhile, a Nova Scotia fisherman caught a 20.2 kg lobster — the world’s heaviest known crustacean. Dr. Allen Bussey made his name while completing 20,302 yo-yo loops; Sabra Starr finished the longest recorded belly dance (100 hours).
In the world of entertainment, Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours” album released. The Rolling Stones made the news in a different manner as Keith Richards was arrested in Toronto and charged with possession of heroin with intent to traffic and possession of cocaine.
Future “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno debuted with host Johnny Carson. “Eight is Enough” premieres on ABC-TV.
In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court allowed lawyers to advertise. Aren’t we all grateful for that? Also, in March Bank of America adopted a new name for their credit cards: VISA. Again, aren’t we grateful?
Vietnam finally handed over MIA to the United States. But it wasn’t about peace. The U.S. restricted citizens from visiting Cuba, Vietnam, North Korea and Cambodia.
The NBC News and Information Service (which operated 24 hours) ended on radio. The first personal computer, the Apple II, went on sale. Radio Shack announced the TRS-80 computer; within weeks, thousands were ordered. Television viewer discretion warnings began.
Regarding famous folks: James Earl Ray escaped from prison, and three members of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s rock band died in a plane crash. To the dismay of many, Elvis Presley died at the age of 42.
I also discovered that the Plymouth Horizon was introduced in December. It was the first American-made small car with front-wheel drive. Technical advances in drive technology had reduced the size and cost of front-wheel drive systems. Some 16 years later, it would be my first car to drive.
1977: when a new house averaged $49,300; average annual income was $15,000, and a gallon of gas cost 65¢.
Wow! Now if only I knew how well Annie aged ...
No Monsters Allowed
Creed looked at me two days ago and said, “I wish I was two again.”
I figured this comment was just a desire to forget about school and to spend his days playing with his former babysitting colleagues Aaron and Carigan. At worst, it was a statement made while he was angry at his brother so he was wishing for a time before Heath was born.
I asked to be sure. I found out I was wrong.
“I didn’t have so many aches and pains,” he lamented.
My six year old is already complaining about aches and pains! I had to laugh.
I reminded him of the benefits of being six. Not only can he run faster than a two year old, but he can also reach higher since he is taller. And, even better, he can go to the bathroom by himself!
He smiled. That seemed to satisfy his concerns.
This morning, as I tried to wake him to get ready for school, he told me he was getting too old cause he just can’t stretch like he used to do.
Where does he come up with this stuff? Yeah, he probably listens to us.
That’s why his knees ache from time to time, or his back hurts. You know it isn’t real when he complains that he is feeling fat. He doesn’t have an ounce of body fat!
It proves the point that they listen to us. They know our aches and pains. They know our concerns about ourselves. They know our weaknesses.
My children know my weaknesses as well as anyone. They also know my doubts and my fears. It’s a little disturbing. And it shows me that I need to “woman up.”
I don’t want to teach them a lifestyle of complaining. I’ll have to take the no monsters allowed approach.
The boys worry about monsters invading the house at night — at least that is their excuse at bedtime. Repeatedly they have been told that monsters aren’t real. But, just in case, I remind them:
Witches melt with water.
Vampires have to be invited into your home.
Werewolves only appear on full moons.
The boogie monster only picks on nose pickers.
I’m kidding about the last one, but it always makes Heath smile because he has a few issues with wandering fingers.
So out with the monsters, the complaints, and the fears.
In with the good thoughts, fun times, and cheers.
I figured this comment was just a desire to forget about school and to spend his days playing with his former babysitting colleagues Aaron and Carigan. At worst, it was a statement made while he was angry at his brother so he was wishing for a time before Heath was born.
I asked to be sure. I found out I was wrong.
“I didn’t have so many aches and pains,” he lamented.
My six year old is already complaining about aches and pains! I had to laugh.
I reminded him of the benefits of being six. Not only can he run faster than a two year old, but he can also reach higher since he is taller. And, even better, he can go to the bathroom by himself!
He smiled. That seemed to satisfy his concerns.
This morning, as I tried to wake him to get ready for school, he told me he was getting too old cause he just can’t stretch like he used to do.
Where does he come up with this stuff? Yeah, he probably listens to us.
That’s why his knees ache from time to time, or his back hurts. You know it isn’t real when he complains that he is feeling fat. He doesn’t have an ounce of body fat!
It proves the point that they listen to us. They know our aches and pains. They know our concerns about ourselves. They know our weaknesses.
My children know my weaknesses as well as anyone. They also know my doubts and my fears. It’s a little disturbing. And it shows me that I need to “woman up.”
I don’t want to teach them a lifestyle of complaining. I’ll have to take the no monsters allowed approach.
The boys worry about monsters invading the house at night — at least that is their excuse at bedtime. Repeatedly they have been told that monsters aren’t real. But, just in case, I remind them:
Witches melt with water.
Vampires have to be invited into your home.
Werewolves only appear on full moons.
The boogie monster only picks on nose pickers.
I’m kidding about the last one, but it always makes Heath smile because he has a few issues with wandering fingers.
So out with the monsters, the complaints, and the fears.
In with the good thoughts, fun times, and cheers.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
No Resolutions Here
I suppose many people who made New Year’s resolutions could be doubting their choices or even missing their goals.
That’s why I didn’t make any this year. It seems the ambitions to exercise more, be nicer, and eat healthier are rather unattainable when we set them before us as areas of obsession.
What I did find that sparked my curiosity is a list of statements one should read often so that maybe, just maybe, some of those thoughts will spew from the mouth when most needed.
The idea is to build up a child, to encourage and strengthen the little one. As I read over the list multiple times, though, I realized that age didn’t need to be a factor.
The basic premise is love, appreciation, acceptance, forgiveness, encouragement, and kindness. It is to learn the value of giving, the need to slow down, the joy of listening, and the hope of wishes. We all need to do better in these areas.
I applaud those who can spend January, February, March, and many more months on treadmills, at gyms, counting calories, and eating healthy. We should take care of our bodies. We should also seek to improve the lives of those around us.
Tell someone you love him or her. Let the person know that you will always possess that love.
Remind a friend of just how amazing he or she is. Share in the one-of-a-kind personality we each have. It isn’t just what we can do that makes us amazing, but who we are.
Know that crying is okay. It comes in moments of sadness, happiness, fear, and pride. Those of all ages can cry when angry, afraid or lonely.
Admit mistakes. Let those around you know that you can accept when you are wrong and that you will work to improve and fix the problems.
Forgive. None of us are perfect. We’ve all been hurt. Grudges only bring suffering to those who hold them.
Show pride in those who make good decisions and acknowledge that many choices are difficult to make. Especially encourage children when they make the right decision as it isn’t always easy to do. Many of us have knowingly made the wrong decisions as it seemed to be the easiest choice.
Understand that change is sometimes necessary. Allow others to have the freedom to alter choices.
Encourage kindness in others. Do something thoughtful and helpful for others as it will make you feel good inside.
Acknowledge good ideas and give credit. Show interest in how people arrived at their decisions.
Listen to others. Ask questions about them and what they have been doing and then listen to the answers. Have a conversation about someone besides yourself.
Talk about your hopes, your dreams, your wishes. Ask others about theirs. Believe that tomorrow will be brighter.
Surprise people. It can be with something very small. It can be for no occasion at all.
Stop rushing. Take time and watch as those around you begin to relax as well.
Let someone else choose the agenda for the day or even an activity to do.
And it never hurts to use manners and kind words when talking with others, to remind people that you miss them when they are gone, and to let friends and family know that you are willing to help them conquer whatever comes their way.
I wouldn’t be who I am today if so many people in my life over the years hadn’t followed these basic principles.
That’s why I didn’t make any this year. It seems the ambitions to exercise more, be nicer, and eat healthier are rather unattainable when we set them before us as areas of obsession.
What I did find that sparked my curiosity is a list of statements one should read often so that maybe, just maybe, some of those thoughts will spew from the mouth when most needed.
The idea is to build up a child, to encourage and strengthen the little one. As I read over the list multiple times, though, I realized that age didn’t need to be a factor.
The basic premise is love, appreciation, acceptance, forgiveness, encouragement, and kindness. It is to learn the value of giving, the need to slow down, the joy of listening, and the hope of wishes. We all need to do better in these areas.
I applaud those who can spend January, February, March, and many more months on treadmills, at gyms, counting calories, and eating healthy. We should take care of our bodies. We should also seek to improve the lives of those around us.
Tell someone you love him or her. Let the person know that you will always possess that love.
Remind a friend of just how amazing he or she is. Share in the one-of-a-kind personality we each have. It isn’t just what we can do that makes us amazing, but who we are.
Know that crying is okay. It comes in moments of sadness, happiness, fear, and pride. Those of all ages can cry when angry, afraid or lonely.
Admit mistakes. Let those around you know that you can accept when you are wrong and that you will work to improve and fix the problems.
Forgive. None of us are perfect. We’ve all been hurt. Grudges only bring suffering to those who hold them.
Show pride in those who make good decisions and acknowledge that many choices are difficult to make. Especially encourage children when they make the right decision as it isn’t always easy to do. Many of us have knowingly made the wrong decisions as it seemed to be the easiest choice.
Understand that change is sometimes necessary. Allow others to have the freedom to alter choices.
Encourage kindness in others. Do something thoughtful and helpful for others as it will make you feel good inside.
Acknowledge good ideas and give credit. Show interest in how people arrived at their decisions.
Listen to others. Ask questions about them and what they have been doing and then listen to the answers. Have a conversation about someone besides yourself.
Talk about your hopes, your dreams, your wishes. Ask others about theirs. Believe that tomorrow will be brighter.
Surprise people. It can be with something very small. It can be for no occasion at all.
Stop rushing. Take time and watch as those around you begin to relax as well.
Let someone else choose the agenda for the day or even an activity to do.
And it never hurts to use manners and kind words when talking with others, to remind people that you miss them when they are gone, and to let friends and family know that you are willing to help them conquer whatever comes their way.
I wouldn’t be who I am today if so many people in my life over the years hadn’t followed these basic principles.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A Simple Trip
It was a simple trip to the grocery store to get some eggs. I had bananas pleading by their darkening color for me to craft them into a baked masterpiece. At the same time, I had a four-year-old boy begging for banana bread.
As the boys played a new game on the computer and Todd watched a television show, I decided to take just about 20 minutes of time to go to the store for eggs and oil — ingredients I lacked to create this fruity delicacy.
I noticed snow fall, but it seemed minor in detail. I spent a bit longer in the store than expected, about 15 minutes total. While the trip to town seemed uneventful, little did I know what the ride home would become. The snow, now heavier, covered the roads. Quickly I realized that they deserved careful driving attention due to apparent slickness. With my hands locked into the 10 and 2 position, I began to drive home, reaching speeds of just 35 miles per hour at the most.
About a half mile from my house, I started to slide. First one way, then another. I tried to correct, but couldn’t stop. According to the very nice driver and his wife in the car behind me, I nicked a guardrail which sent me sliding to the opposite side of the road and into a ditch. I smashed into the hillside, rolled the vehicle and on the second trip around decided to stop on the roof.
I hung there for just a second, realizing I first needed to find the door handle (a little tricker when hanging upside down). I kicked open the door and then put my foot above me to catch myself before releasing the seat belt and falling on my head.
I crawled out unmarked, unharmed. Considering the shape of my vehicle, I can only thank God for that protection.
While happy to be okay, I was frustrated that my car that I have babied for six years and just paid off not even two months ago was now totalled.
Everyone who stopped to help me that night — from passersby to emergency personnel — were simply amazing. I can’t say thanks enough to them.
It was a slick night. Even the ambulance slid a few feet once stopping. And after the wrecker stopped, it also began to slide toward the ambulance. Todd (who some of my friends have nicknamed Rescue Todd for his efforts to always try and help others) did just what our friends would have expected him to do. He jumped in the passenger side of the wrecker, climbed across, and steered it away from the ambulance and then stopped it. I’m glad he came to the scene to check on me.
As for the eggs, a fireman brought me one he thought hadn’t cracked all over my car and me. It was still in the right shape, but leaking. The groceries suffered a much worse fate than did I. About an hour after I made it home, though, my godparents walked over to our house with eggs in tow. I had to smile.
Sometimes in life we become frustrated with people and the world around us. We begin to think that so many are only concerned about themselves and that few still care about others. An evening like this — one that was just to be a simple trip to the grocery store — demonstrated the kindness of others.
Those living across from the wreck scene even gathered up any remaining things that had flown from one of the many broken windows in my vehicle and brought them to me later in the week. Some pennies, a broken necklace, a beaded chain made by the boys, a few drawings Creed had created, Heath’s whistle — all things that could have easily been overlooked in the snow and mud. Jackie Perkins put a small note in the bag “found this, thought you might want it back.”
Wow! From volunteer firefighters to helpful neighbors to strangers passing by to those bearing eggs as gifts — my faith in people, while never gone, is definitely renewed.
As the boys played a new game on the computer and Todd watched a television show, I decided to take just about 20 minutes of time to go to the store for eggs and oil — ingredients I lacked to create this fruity delicacy.
I noticed snow fall, but it seemed minor in detail. I spent a bit longer in the store than expected, about 15 minutes total. While the trip to town seemed uneventful, little did I know what the ride home would become. The snow, now heavier, covered the roads. Quickly I realized that they deserved careful driving attention due to apparent slickness. With my hands locked into the 10 and 2 position, I began to drive home, reaching speeds of just 35 miles per hour at the most.
About a half mile from my house, I started to slide. First one way, then another. I tried to correct, but couldn’t stop. According to the very nice driver and his wife in the car behind me, I nicked a guardrail which sent me sliding to the opposite side of the road and into a ditch. I smashed into the hillside, rolled the vehicle and on the second trip around decided to stop on the roof.
I hung there for just a second, realizing I first needed to find the door handle (a little tricker when hanging upside down). I kicked open the door and then put my foot above me to catch myself before releasing the seat belt and falling on my head.
I crawled out unmarked, unharmed. Considering the shape of my vehicle, I can only thank God for that protection.
While happy to be okay, I was frustrated that my car that I have babied for six years and just paid off not even two months ago was now totalled.
Everyone who stopped to help me that night — from passersby to emergency personnel — were simply amazing. I can’t say thanks enough to them.
It was a slick night. Even the ambulance slid a few feet once stopping. And after the wrecker stopped, it also began to slide toward the ambulance. Todd (who some of my friends have nicknamed Rescue Todd for his efforts to always try and help others) did just what our friends would have expected him to do. He jumped in the passenger side of the wrecker, climbed across, and steered it away from the ambulance and then stopped it. I’m glad he came to the scene to check on me.
As for the eggs, a fireman brought me one he thought hadn’t cracked all over my car and me. It was still in the right shape, but leaking. The groceries suffered a much worse fate than did I. About an hour after I made it home, though, my godparents walked over to our house with eggs in tow. I had to smile.
Sometimes in life we become frustrated with people and the world around us. We begin to think that so many are only concerned about themselves and that few still care about others. An evening like this — one that was just to be a simple trip to the grocery store — demonstrated the kindness of others.
Those living across from the wreck scene even gathered up any remaining things that had flown from one of the many broken windows in my vehicle and brought them to me later in the week. Some pennies, a broken necklace, a beaded chain made by the boys, a few drawings Creed had created, Heath’s whistle — all things that could have easily been overlooked in the snow and mud. Jackie Perkins put a small note in the bag “found this, thought you might want it back.”
Wow! From volunteer firefighters to helpful neighbors to strangers passing by to those bearing eggs as gifts — my faith in people, while never gone, is definitely renewed.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Done ... Again
Finals are behind me. I wonder how many times I have said that? After all, I realize I am now in my ninth year of college. Hmmm.
This time, though, all that looms before me is an eight-hour comprehensive exam in May. Once I pass that, I begin the dissertation process.
I remember thinking a couple of different times during this program that I just wouldn’t make it. Sometimes I would sit down to write a 20+-page paper and contemplate becoming a drop out. (Just being honest.) Always, I continued on. My grades proved me wrong; I am capable.
For quite some time, a list of homework loomed before me. I completed project after project. I wrote paper after paper. Suddenly, I won’t have to think about homework.
I’ll miss parts of it. Not the tedious papers. But when you spend two and a half years with the same people, you begin to become close to them. Friends join in misery, after all.
My friend Mike agreed. In his most recent blog he noted, “While some assignments were daunting, some classes a waste of time, and some administrative changes a violation of rights; I know that all those experiences will soon be forgotten. Thoughts of the challenges associated with coursework will be replaced with the memories of evenings talking, laughing, giving and receiving encouragement, and celebrating with other members of the cohort. You’d be hard-pressed to find a member of the class who will not admit to learning more from the ‘students’ than the course itself.” (I use his comment without asking for his permission and after taking a law course that focused greatly on copyrights. Hmmm. Guess I’ll just use those press rights of saying that I quoted him and it will all be okay.)
I, too, will enjoy more time with my family, more opportunities to expend effort on less mind-straining activities. I guess I can go back to quilting, or fiddling, or possibly even spend more time with my ATV in the mud. Those new wheels and tires shouldn’t just be on there for the pretty factor. They need to be challenged. I think the boys will choose the last option, although they may find humor in my fiddling capabilities or lack thereof.
Yet, to think the work is done would be a moment of insanity. An eight-hour essay exam is something that will require much effort in the months preceding it. I must study as I never have before. The research that follows will be enjoyable, though the writing of a dissertation will be yet another challenge. I actually look forward to that part. (Remind me of this when I complain about it a year from now.)
In the meantime, I will celebrate this holiday season thrilled that I don’t have homework waiting to be done, and glad that I have made so many wonderful friends in the last two and a half years. They will be a blessing to me for many years to come.
This time, though, all that looms before me is an eight-hour comprehensive exam in May. Once I pass that, I begin the dissertation process.
I remember thinking a couple of different times during this program that I just wouldn’t make it. Sometimes I would sit down to write a 20+-page paper and contemplate becoming a drop out. (Just being honest.) Always, I continued on. My grades proved me wrong; I am capable.
For quite some time, a list of homework loomed before me. I completed project after project. I wrote paper after paper. Suddenly, I won’t have to think about homework.
I’ll miss parts of it. Not the tedious papers. But when you spend two and a half years with the same people, you begin to become close to them. Friends join in misery, after all.
My friend Mike agreed. In his most recent blog he noted, “While some assignments were daunting, some classes a waste of time, and some administrative changes a violation of rights; I know that all those experiences will soon be forgotten. Thoughts of the challenges associated with coursework will be replaced with the memories of evenings talking, laughing, giving and receiving encouragement, and celebrating with other members of the cohort. You’d be hard-pressed to find a member of the class who will not admit to learning more from the ‘students’ than the course itself.” (I use his comment without asking for his permission and after taking a law course that focused greatly on copyrights. Hmmm. Guess I’ll just use those press rights of saying that I quoted him and it will all be okay.)
I, too, will enjoy more time with my family, more opportunities to expend effort on less mind-straining activities. I guess I can go back to quilting, or fiddling, or possibly even spend more time with my ATV in the mud. Those new wheels and tires shouldn’t just be on there for the pretty factor. They need to be challenged. I think the boys will choose the last option, although they may find humor in my fiddling capabilities or lack thereof.
Yet, to think the work is done would be a moment of insanity. An eight-hour essay exam is something that will require much effort in the months preceding it. I must study as I never have before. The research that follows will be enjoyable, though the writing of a dissertation will be yet another challenge. I actually look forward to that part. (Remind me of this when I complain about it a year from now.)
In the meantime, I will celebrate this holiday season thrilled that I don’t have homework waiting to be done, and glad that I have made so many wonderful friends in the last two and a half years. They will be a blessing to me for many years to come.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Value of Giving
Creed asked for money the other day to buy some Christmas gifts at the elementary school’s holiday store. So, I gave him some. On the list, I marked a few names of people for whom he should buy gifts. Most importantly, his younger brother.
I also wrote a limit on the note as to how much he could spend on himself. The reason was simple: the idea is to buy gifts for other people and to experience the joy of giving, not to just buy for oneself. Even the note from the school mentioned the value of learning to give to others.
He came home that night with a trash bag of presents. Sure a few were for him, but that isn’t what excited him. He made fine purchases for his little brother, including a Batman figurine, balls, etc.
Creed far exceeded his list of people. His bag of presents included some for his cousins Stacey, Matthew, Jeremy and Aaron; his Aunt Kim and Uncle Bob; and several grandparents.
What impressed me most is the amount of effort he put into picking out presents. For Kim, as an example, Creed chose a Spiderman punching bag. After all, Kim spends a lot of time working out and walking these days. Creed thought she’d find this useful and fun. He choose a big, orange puffer worm for Uncle Bob since he believed that his great uncle liked orange.
He bought a new oven mitt and some dish towels for Mamaw Bobby. She definitely needed some. On the night that we stopped by her house, she pulled cookies out of the oven by grabbing the rack with a wooden ruler and using a dish rag. Probably not the safest choice. Creed smiled as his grandmother opened her gift and even used it a few moments later.
I don’t know all of the gifts he chose. Several went to his dad’s house. Others remain unopened as we haven’t seen those folks yet. What I do know is the value of the lesson. “This made my Christmas,” his Aunt Kim told him.
Why did he decide to buy them a gift? Because he saw something that made him think about them. It didn’t have to be an expensive purchase, it just required special attention.
A few days later, Creed asked for money to buy himself another pack of marbles at the holiday store. He said they only cost $1.00. So, I gave him $1.00. He looked quite distraught. After a few minutes, I asked him why he wasn’t happy since he would be able to get the marbles he wanted. His response? “Because I’ll only be able to buy something for myself and I can’t get Heath anything.”
That was enough for me. Sure, he was given more money to buy some extra gifts. He again made wonderful purchases showing much thought. Heath didn’t mind as he definitely benefitted from the experience.
While Creed did gain a bit of material items, he also learned the value of giving.
I also wrote a limit on the note as to how much he could spend on himself. The reason was simple: the idea is to buy gifts for other people and to experience the joy of giving, not to just buy for oneself. Even the note from the school mentioned the value of learning to give to others.
He came home that night with a trash bag of presents. Sure a few were for him, but that isn’t what excited him. He made fine purchases for his little brother, including a Batman figurine, balls, etc.
Creed far exceeded his list of people. His bag of presents included some for his cousins Stacey, Matthew, Jeremy and Aaron; his Aunt Kim and Uncle Bob; and several grandparents.
What impressed me most is the amount of effort he put into picking out presents. For Kim, as an example, Creed chose a Spiderman punching bag. After all, Kim spends a lot of time working out and walking these days. Creed thought she’d find this useful and fun. He choose a big, orange puffer worm for Uncle Bob since he believed that his great uncle liked orange.
He bought a new oven mitt and some dish towels for Mamaw Bobby. She definitely needed some. On the night that we stopped by her house, she pulled cookies out of the oven by grabbing the rack with a wooden ruler and using a dish rag. Probably not the safest choice. Creed smiled as his grandmother opened her gift and even used it a few moments later.
I don’t know all of the gifts he chose. Several went to his dad’s house. Others remain unopened as we haven’t seen those folks yet. What I do know is the value of the lesson. “This made my Christmas,” his Aunt Kim told him.
Why did he decide to buy them a gift? Because he saw something that made him think about them. It didn’t have to be an expensive purchase, it just required special attention.
A few days later, Creed asked for money to buy himself another pack of marbles at the holiday store. He said they only cost $1.00. So, I gave him $1.00. He looked quite distraught. After a few minutes, I asked him why he wasn’t happy since he would be able to get the marbles he wanted. His response? “Because I’ll only be able to buy something for myself and I can’t get Heath anything.”
That was enough for me. Sure, he was given more money to buy some extra gifts. He again made wonderful purchases showing much thought. Heath didn’t mind as he definitely benefitted from the experience.
While Creed did gain a bit of material items, he also learned the value of giving.
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